09:24 AM Mark of Maturity?
I can drive, I can drive, I can drive! Not just within the subdivision, which is what I've been doing for the past few months, but I have actually driven from Quezon City to Makati and back using major thoroughfares. (Okay, so my dad was in the front passenger seat.)

Now, any QC driver knows that Quezon Circle is one of the most dangerous and stressful roads in Manila. Cars crisscross left to right and right to left, merging into lanes without the use of signal lights. Huge buses traveling on the inner lanes will (with no warning at all!) swerve outward across three lanes at a time just to get to their exit. On the outer lanes, jeepneys will suddenly stop to offload passengers in front of the numerous government buildings that line the Circle. And has anyone ever really stepped on their brake pedals to obey the stop lights? The worst thing is, however, the pedestrians that cross the Circle. They must think that by simply holding up their hands they can command vehicles to stop while they scurry across.

It might be a mark of my maturity when I just laugh these things off. I'm so grateful to escape with my car and my life in one piece that I don't have the energy or time to be angry at the bus that just caused me to screech to a halt or the person who decides to cross just when I've stepped on the accelerator.

However, I'm sure of this: God has helped me learn since Day One, when I got my learner's permit. He's protected me from (major) accidents and has kept my father from bursting a blood vessel when he's riding with me.

When I finally get on the road alone--when I finally get the courage and ability to do that--I won't be looking to do things á la The Fast and the Furious, no sirree. Driving is just another way to get to a destination, but (as the cliche goes) it's the journey that matters. I'm aiming to make the journey as painless and as safe as possible for all involved.

10:24 AM My Spider-Sense Is Tingling. Look Out!
Really, I do have some sort of spider-sense; it warns me of future danger from people I've just met. How do I define danger? Simple: unwanted romantic overtures.

I've written about this phenomenon concerning another guy, but this week I proved to myself once again that if I don't like a person at the beginning, I have to be wary of them in the future.

I think it's in the way a person first approaches me, to get to know me. Perhaps it's unjust, but in my case I instantly mistrust anyone who approaches me and tries to engage me in conversation without us having any initial connection, like a common friend, subject, or organization.

A guy approached me on the first day while I was in a corridor waiting for a class. I was reading a book and all of a sudden he just came up to me and demanded my attention by saying "Hello." At this uninvited conversation, I was already a little ticked off. What weirdo would come up to a person in a corridor and say Hello, if they didn't know each other from before?

He said his name, and I said, "Okay..." and silence ensued. He looked at me as if he were expecting something from me. I'm very guarded about giving out my personal particulars; if I tell a person my name, it's a sacred trust because by uttering it people have the power to stop me in my tracks, to interpellate me. According to a media theory, it gives them power over me.

I reluctantly told him my name when it was clear he wasn't going to leave me alone. He asked me if we were in the same class together, and I was forced to concede that yes, I was waiting for that particular class to begin. He asked me if that was a major subject for me, and I told him it was just an elective. He told me it was his major, and then started to tell me why he'd gone into the graduate program. "It's the job market," he said, and rambled on for a bit until I stopped him by saying I really didn't know anything about looking for a job. He just breathed a little more heavily and continued trash-talking the job situation in the Philippines. I kept quiet until he ran out of things to say, because I didn't really want to talk to him. I just wanted to get back to my book.

He finally excused himself and walked off. I thought I was rid of him until I realized I'd be seeing him every week for that subject. The freakiness had just begun.

Every week, before the class began, he'd try to engage me in conversation, but he belonged to a different generation and he had interests completely divergent from mine. (I don't think he realized I was about ten years younger than him.) I became a one-word conversationalist just to get him to leave me alone. And then, during class, he'd look at me from head to toe several times. Any person will tell you that would make them uncomfortable, but this I have to add to it: if I were sitting behind him, he'd actually turn in his chair just to do that head-to-toe thing.

To be a little shallow, I didn't like the way he looked, I didn't like the way he acted, I didn't like the way he spoke. Whenever he recited for the professor, he'd interrupt himself with all the qualifiers you could think of ("in fact, well, I suppose, if you think about it..."). He also usually ended up not answering the professor's question. And last week he came to class with a hole in the crotch of his pants! The class was sitting in a circle of chairs with no table in the middle; it was just my luck that I was sitting diagonally at him and could see his singit saying hello every time he changed his position. I got a cramp from holding up a piece of paper in front of my face just to cover that up.

This week it all came to a head (at least I hope it's the beginning of the end). He approached me again before class to talk about some actor from the 70's who died last year. I said I didn't like said actor's movies. He asked me if the actor was too macho for me, and I said I just didn't like the storylines of war and combat. Then class began and I made it a point to sit as far away from him as possible.

The class was critiquing each other's works, which meant an honest but firm pointing out what didn't work for our pieces and what could be done better. It wasn't supposed to be taken personally. The guy's work was said to have a "bitchy" tone, and he immediately took personal offense. "Don't use that word with me," he said in a sudden fury, pointing a fat finger at the poor man who had made the innocent comment. The professor tried to smooth things out by restating the comment in a nicer way, but I had seen enough of the guy's personality to know I could be justified in not taking a liking to him.

But it wasn't over yet. After class, he approached me and said, "I think I should give you my cellphone number." I decided to cut straight to the point and asked him, "What for?" He couldn't give me an answer, and just restated himself. "I think I should give you my cellphone number."

I looked at him directly in the eye and said, "I don't think that's a good idea." I had a very good idea where he wanted the conversation to go; he wanted me to give my number to him in return. His next statement confirmed my suspicions: "Is your dad too strict?"

If I had said yes, it would imply that I wanted to be given his cellphone number but couldn't because of my dad. It would mean that I wanted to get to know him. Did I want that? No, whether my father were actually strict or not.

"I just don't think it would be a good idea," I politely and firmly stated. He paused for a moment, then excused himself to leave.

Well, thank God for small favors and strange talents, like my spider-sense. It hasn't failed me yet.

03:58 PM Oh, the Things I Saw and Did: Year in Review

1. Saw "8 Mile" with my sister and two guy friends: one looks like Eminem himself, and the other looks like Baron Geissler.
2. Saw Stephen Speaks perform at the Ateneo Gym.
3. Did move to a new neighborhood. Did not leave the house during the daytime, hence becoming a human veal.
4. Did eat mangoes until I got rashes all over. Did enjoy myself thoroughly despite itchiness.
5. Did have foot-in-mouth disease. Did learn to revise journal entries prior to publication.
6. Did format my computer. Did have to format again three months later. (Formatted it again this month, by the way.) Drat that Pinfi virus!
7. Did fall down a flight of stairs in a public place.
8. Did have problems with hosting, but beloved host Selene had the patience to work it out. Much thanks!
9. Did stress much.
10. Did have a much-needed hiatus in October, after working 48 hours straight (no sleep!) on three projects.
11. Did not see Mandy Moore in Manila. Did get tipsy that same night.
12. Saw "Return of the King" early because it was a premiere. (Saw it again last January 10.)

How was your 2003?

02:28 PM "Argh" Describes It
Please stand by for a more coherent post tonight. I'm still in mourning over the fact that I had to format my hard drive this early in the year due to I don't know what. My computer crashed.

02:01 PM Swamped
So, it's another New Year, but I've still got the same old bad habits. Procrastination, for instance. I had all of Christmas vacation to read a whole bunch of articles on Thaksin Shinawatra for my Investigative Journ class, but I'm cramming them all today. My class is later this afternoon, FYI. Ü

So, another year merits another layout. I'm still trying to decipher the secrets of CSS and div layers since all my layouts are starting to look alike, I think. In the meantime, this site is mainly about the content. Let's just pray I have enough time to make content. Due to my procrastinating, I have several projects already piled up.