09:09 AM I was sleeping soundly, trying to get my Z's, when suddenly the phone rang. And rang. And rang. And rang for several minutes until I finally got irritated enough to get it. I put the receiver to my ear--and guess what... it was a wrong number. Argh!

So, I guess now I'm awake. I've finally finished my birthday layout, and I will be unleashing it sometime next week. It's not as pretty as this one, but it's a result of various experiments in Photoshop. Ah yes, I really do miss tinkering with that program. It's like all I have time for now is putting entries in my blog.

By the way, David has set up an Internet radio station, courtesy of Live365.com. Here it is at its temporary URL. Please visit!

12:01 PM It was only yesterday that I realized I only have a few weeks until my birthday! Ü It's incredible; I'm going to be eighteen soon, but I don't feel any older than when I turned thirteen (well, except for the ever-expanding waistline and all that). I take it eighteen years of age would mean a lot of things to some people: coming of age, maturity, independence. However to me it's just another year. I will, legally, be an adult, and my parents can't claim me on their tax returns anymore--but don't think the apron strings will be cut. No, no, I will still be living in my parents' house, getting my allowance from them, eating at the same table and definitely riding in the same car. I don't think that being eighteen automatically gives me the right to be seen as their equal, or that it gives me the right to flount their rules. I'm still their daughter; I think no matter how old I'll get, I'll have to obey and honor them.

Still, being a year older than last year, my parents will assume that I should be better able to take care of myself, and be more responsible for whatever I do. It was a long time ago when I reached the age of accountability, when I first became conscious of right and wrong. I'd think I've had a lot of practice since then--but then again, being human and inherently sinful, I'm bound to make mistakes (some of them over and over again). That fact, however, doesn't give me any excuse. Having put myself under God's will as well, it should be my duty to try to surpass my faults (though at times that's only possible with divine intervention, hehehe).

My, the thought of getting older has certainly made me introspective today, huh? Ü

09:45 AM Pau's back! So now I've got all my reads again--but I don't have time to read them anymore. I'm studying too hard. Ü (It's a Smiley, not a U!)

It's gotten harder to budget my allowance. First of all, now I'm spending on my food. For my first three years in college, I'd taken sandwiches to school with me, so I didn't know actually how much food takes a bite out of my wallet. Now I barely have enough to tithe with, and I end up with zero balance every week. Maybe this is a good time to start on a diet--say, crackers and water? Ü Nah, that's too anorectic.

Currently, I'm studying my Econ 190.2 readings (I think the course description is about financial markets and stuff like that), and I have this sinking feeling in my throat that my teacher's going to give a pop quiz. Yikes. Actually, I've heard that this particular teacher gives really difficult exams; out of her 50 students, only 5 passed--the rest dropped the subject or flunked. Of course, lots of these kinds of rumors abound anywhere in the University, and my friend who passed under a similarly infamous teacher said these things weren't really substantiated. Still, I'm feeling really motivated to study. I want to graduate on time.

09:47 PM I bought a new notebook to use for lecture notes; last semester I didn't take much notes (thus probably contributing to my lower grades), so I figured I should get a really good-looking notebook so I'd want to write in it. Now the design on the notebook's really captivated me, and I want to do a layout like that. :D It looks sort of like vintage surfer chic, complete with the chipped lettering and shorts pattern. Anyway, it's going to take me quite a while because of time constraints. I was hoping to do it on Saturday, but I don't have my Saturdays free anymore; maybe I can do it a little at a time each night.

I tried looking on the net for a full-text version of Nick Joaquin's translation of Jose Rizal's Mi Ultimo Adios, and I couldn't find any! I was practically tearing my hair out on PinoyExchange's Arts and Literature forum, asking if anyone had a copy they could email me or post there. I also got a friend of mine to look it up in the library and then email me a copy; hopefully, I'll get at least one copy so I can start on my reaction paper for Creative Lit.

Clarissa and Redgie are back to blogging--that's great! Now I have more reads... unfortunately it looks like Lizard's Asylum may be taking a brief hiatus, although you can read Cyberbutiki's LiveJournal if you just want to see his daily entries.

This post was supposed to appear this morning, but just as I was about to upload it, the electricity died on me! Only our street was affected, and we didn't have any power until around 8pm tonight. :o And I was supposed to write that Creative Lit paper this afternoon. Thank God the electricity came back on, and it was really easy to write the paper once I sat in front of the computer.

09:15 PM I've been so tired and busy lately that it's been a chore to think of things to blog. Last night, when I thought I had some time to sit here in front of the computer and type, I started feeling queasy after dinner, and got a slight fever. I must have over-exerted myself or something during the day, so I decided to skip the day's entry and just get a good night's sleep. I'm thinking of cutting down the number of entries from daily to semi-daily, given the fact that I have inadvertently enrolled in subjects with really heavy readings (my Science, Technology, and Society course has readings one-foot thick!). To make up for that, my posts will probably be twice as long as they have been--it really all depends on whether or not there's something interesting going on. Now, if you'll excuse the next few paragraphs for making me sound like a teeny-bopper, I shall get on with today's entry. :D

Yesterday, in the aforementioned Science, Technology, and Society class (or STS for short), a lot of stuff happened. First of all, some members of the class that had previously occupied our auditorium were still there, and one of them looked like this! I was just so flabbergasted to see a good-looking guy in my university, given its drought of eye-candy, as stated in my previous entry--and a guy who looks like Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi (sans braid) is eye-candy enough for me. Tee-hee!

Next up, as I sat down in a chair, I noticed some guys at the end of my row, and one of them looked like this! Mark-Paul Gosselaar is best-known for his part as Zach in Saved By the Bell (the original series), but he's also starred in lots of films after that (and believe you me, he's not the skinny boy he was before). I couldn't believe I'd scored two hits in the same room.

Later on, as I recounted the story to my sister, she mock-whacked me and said, "Naiinis ako sa 'yo! (I'm really pissed at you!)" When I asked why, she said, "Kasi you see good-looking guys, and I'm stuck with my [not-so-cute] blockmates." Well, this is probably the advantage of being a senior and having people other than blockmates as classmates.

Before I forget, I had a girl classmate who looked like this. >:D

05:41 PM I picked up a copy of Chalk magazine today, curious as to why Mela would be featured in it. Turns out she's one of DLSU's Star Scholars (hmm... why does that sound suspiciously like ABS-CBN's Star Circle, home of aspiring starlets? :D just kidding). Aww, isn't that great media exposure?

Anyway, I think that the magazine was a great read. It wasn't teeny-bopper-ish at all, and I found it catered to a lot of my interests. Of course, I was a bit disappointed to see that my university didn't get as much face time as the other universities in the features sections. It's just as well; a thread in PinoyExchange confirms the fact that UP is not well known for the faces within its campuses.

Wow, so many hyperlinks!

09:13 PM When it rains, it pours. And tonight, it's raining. Literally. I've been waiting for this respite from the heat for a full four days! :D

I found out today that two of my friends have been an item for about two months and a few weeks. While I'm not a supporter of people becoming couples at an early age (say, in their teens), I've known for some time about her feelings for him, and I daresay it's been a long time coming (and I keep wondering what kept him). I'm happy for them, and I think that since they were friends first, he won't be likely to mistreat her. For me, I've decided to ignore my biological clock (my what? I have one of those?) and concentrate on my studies in the meantime. Getting involved with a guy is, and should be, the last thing on my mind. Sure, I have my unrequited crushes and whatnot, but I won't--I repeat, I won't--seek out a relationship. I did that once before and met the wrong type of guy. I'm grateful I didn't go serious on him, but I almost did, and I regret even thinking about going through with that. The people who know me know that I rarely regret doing things, so it's pretty serious if I do. I know, in His good time, God will give me the guy who's perfect for me. Until that time, I'm contented to wait on Him.

Can you guess when my birthday is? I'm turning 18 soon!

09:36 PM Today was the first day of classes for my last year in UP (yes! finally!), and generally I found it to be a great morale-booster. First of all, my sister is now in UP as a freshman (BA Speech Communication, just like Macy!), along with several other friends; their freshman welcome assembly took place this morning, and later on in the day I also took a hand in passing out educational materials to their fellow freshmen. Secondly, my teachers from today all seem pretty great (although Dr. Ramos might be a snore at times and Prof. Alaras loves to interrupt people). And last of all, this is the first time in a few years that I've felt this ready to study again. I don't feel distracted, and best of all I really, really want to do well in my subjects. Other great news: my Tae-Bo during the summer seems to have kept me in tiptop shape, even if it didn't really shrink my waist size. I was able to walk nice long distances without getting winded. Woohoo!

One thing I noticed about school days starting again: people have stopped blogging regularly! :O Hey, y'all. Hope you're coping with college all right... Brownpau has also been having problems with his blog lately, all because of Digitalrice. I hope he gets his new domain up soon.

I miss reading blogs.

09:15 AM Did a little surfing yesterday, and came across Stor Entertainment, which allows you to create your own StorTrooper (either a caricature of yourself or of someone else). It was so addictive! :D I created myself, my sister, a few of our friends, and I'm thinking of trying out NetGoth's version of the StorTrooper (even though I can't be considered a goth, not even in the most remote of possibilities).

Over the past few weeks, I kept forgetting to mention that I'd taken Emode's Superpower Test. My results?

Think fast! Your hidden superpower is SUPER SPEED! Some people might think you have a talent for impatience, but we like to call it efficiency. You approach all things with a need for speed. Whether it's running a race, eating lunch, or writing a report, you finish the task in no time flat. This quality is a huge asset in today's hotwired workplace, where there's never enough time to do anything. With a little bit of practice, you'll soon be zipping about the office, zooming between social engagements, and devouring books at an alarming rate. Your friends and coworkers won't be able to keep up. If you use your powers wisely, you'll be the model of well-balanced productivity. But don't forget: Ultra-speedy superheroes have to take good care of their bodies. Be sure to eat right, get plenty of sleep and stretch regularly. Are you ready? Invest in some quality shoes and hop to it. You'll be flying through your day in no time.

That probably explains... things. :D

09:19 AM I completely forgot about a reunion for my high school; the worst part of it is that my sister was also invited--and she cares about parties a lot more than I do, especially if these parties give her a chance to see people she hasn't seen in years. I'm not that sentimental about high school and the years preceding that. I couldn't care less if I miss a party. But when I took this glib attitude towards it, my sister just exploded. And when I tried to apologize and explain why I felt that way about the party, she just dismissed me and didn't want to talk about it, which completely sucks because I really wanted to clear things up. I guess that's the difference between the two of us. She'd rather just bury any disagreements. I don't know; I have a nagging fear that someday she'll dredge it up because it was unfinished business.

It's Independence Day for the Philippines. I still think June 12, 1898 is not the true date of independence for my country; I mean, if we were celebrating the first Declaration of Independence for the Philippines, it should be August 26, 1896, when Andres Bonifacio and the Katipunan tore their cedulas, thus severing their ties to the Spanish colonizers. If we were celebrating the first time the Philippines was without a colonial government, the date should be July 4, 1946, when the American government cut the strings. In either case, Emilio Aguinaldo's declaration in Kawit, Cavite is moot. Anyway, independence is independence is independence, unless your economy depends on the world market and goes up and down according to the global stock indexes. In that case, there is no such thing as complete independence.

10:19 AM I woke up this morning to the sounds of "Duel of the Fates". Thanks to an unknown person who rang my cellphone at 7:30 a.m., I was haunted by strange dreams when I went back to now-restless sleep. Dreams that somehow related to a Star Wars novel I'd just bought yesterday. Might I say "overload"? I stayed up until 1:30 a.m. to finish that book, which might explain my dreams even without the "Duel of the Fates" interlude. :D

The book is called The Crystal Star by Vonda N. McIntyre, and it takes place 10 years after Return of the Jedi. It was a pretty satisfying read for me, but I think the book's editors forgot to work out a few kinks. Sometimes, I didn't know who was saying and doing what when it was clearly supposed to matter. But never mind. What I would like to read, though, is The Courtship of Princess Leia and The Jedi Academy Trilogy. But that's just going to cost more, and I'm not about to shell out any more money. I'm broke! But Goodwill Bookstore has really great deals on prices, so that's where I'll buy my books from now on. No more over-crowded, expensive National Bookstore for me!

What I will do, though, is rummage among my books and dig out my copy of Little Women. I feel like reading a classic novel, for a change.

08:56 AM Over breakfast, my family and I were discussing the benefits of emigrating to a foreign country. My mom dredged up her friend Jeanie's great experiences in Canada, which led me to wondering--after graduation, where do I go? I feel two yearnings: one is to leave, get a peaceful life and a good job in a stable country, and the other is to stay, try to make the Philippines a better place. My professor Felipe Miranda once told my class, "All the good people are leaving the country, so the scoundrels are left behind to run it."

Which also leads me to wondering about my future. When I have children, will I want to take them to another country? Somehow I don't want to take away from them the experience of being close to their roots, but I also don't want them to grow up in a rotten society such as this. It is during these times that I don't know what to feel about the Philippines, whether it is a land to be upheld and preserved, or a land to be left to fester.

11:02 AM So, this is my last free Saturday. After this, I'll have classes every Saturday as a result of the schedule I got.

I just want to stay at home and rest. I'm so tired after last week.

05:57 PM Today officially marked the end of my enrollment period. :D Although it still extends until Monday, I've already gotten the subject needed to meet my unit requirement! Besides, I've already paid. Hehehe. Praise God. He works in mysterious ways, but He lives.

If I had read my Bible on the morning of June 6, I could have saved myself needless hours of aggravation. Yeah, so it doesn't have words of incantation you can chant and miraculously you have what you want, but it does have words of comfort to offer: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this;... Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret..." (Psalm 37:5,7 NIV) If I had just done this, I could have made for myself and others a stress-free, complaint-free day. But as you can see from my June 6 entry, I didn't, and managed to make myself miserable, even though today--in the end--I was able to enroll in the required number of units, by God's grace.

Speaking of enlistment, I just can't properly express my thanks to God for giving me the strength to last 4 hours waiting in line this morning, and for giving me a way to get my subject through fair and honest means. There's so much more I want to say--I'm just overflowing with joy and stuff. I guess it can wait until Bible study tonight.

Wow.

10:24 AM Looks like almost everybody is writing about their college experiences. Is it just me, or is the demographic of bloggers somewhere in that age group and higher? I think I just don't pay attention to the profiles of other bloggers and don't notice whether they're still in high school or not (well, except for my cousin). It's only when they start writing about their experiences a) enrolling, or b) going to freshman orientation, that I realize how many are around my age. :D Don't mind my rambling. I just woke up.

So I hear I'm the only member of "It's a Smiley, not a U!" How come? It would be such a cute clique for all those rabid texters around here. Go join it! Just download the graphic from Mikko's and then leave a message either in her guestbook or in her email form. :D And it's that easy! I hope she makes the separate page for the clique soon, but her server's been unstable for the past few days (and yes, I did miss her too :D).

08:51 PM This could very well be one of the worst days of my life. After spending almost an hour just lining up to get my computerized enlistment results, I climbed up eight flights of stairs to find an already-growing line of people who wanted the same subjects I wanted. Even worse, some people I am acquainted with actually had the nerve to sneak ahead of the line and then establish a priority list with them at the head of it, even when the rules explicitly said "No Priority Lists Will Be Honored". Additionally, they had infiltrated the ranks of the registration assistants so that their priority list was honored; they were allowed to take the place at the head of the line even though they had left it during the lunch break. I was really tempted to kick a certain person's prissy little butt around when that happened; they were rubbing their enrollment pseudo-superiority right in the faces of those who were hard-working enough to stay to the point of not having any lunch just so they could keep their places.

So, a while ago, I made the painful conclusion that, yes, life isn't fair. As much as I've tried to be fair in my dealings with other people and tried to make life a level playing field, I realize that it's not such a bed of roses as I've made it out to be in the past three years. Unscrupulous people still win, and in this imperfect world, more often than not, that will be the case, as long as people still rely on so-called "connections" to get along in life. That certainly seems to be the case in this little campus known as the University of the Philippines.

12:21 PM Well, I did go back to school yesterday to enroll. The problem is, my schedule of enrollment is on Wednesday, not yesterday! I'm given the same priority as those who overstayed their recommended course length. On the other hand, I still get to enlist ahead of sophomores and juniors. It only matters now whether those graduating this semester will hog all the course slots. :c

*sigh* I still can't think of anything to blog about. I've got no opinion on the current Abu Sayyaf thing or on the Power Bill thing, so I can't very well say anything political--or else I'd sound stupid. :D I'd better just plug my top 5 daily reads, so people who come here will have something else to see besides today's incoherent (and uninteresting) ramblings. I read How Now, Brown Pau?, Black Weekend, Blush, Wedgie Central, and FeedBack. Of course, I read the other logs in my link list, but these five links are the first that I go to--they whet my appetite for the rest of the blogging.

I just remembered what it was I was supposed to say! After three days here in Manila, my cousins from Bacolod have gone home. Aww. Anyway, last night we took them to Rockwell Complex, to Power Plant, in particular. It is during times of entertaining people who haven't been to Manila that I think Power Plant is way cooler than Glorietta. There's a bookstore, Page One, where you can really browse around, as compared to National Bookstore where people are like ants and are all in a hurry for school supplies, so books take second place; there's a record shop that's way better than Music One or Tower Records because the atmosphere is less hurried and you don't feel like the salespeople want to force you to buy something; and lastly, there's less people around!

Of course, I wouldn't want to go clothes-shopping there; a simple tie-dyed shirt cost around a thousand pesos (roughly 20 dollars), and all the other clothes shops were brand-name stores. Power Plant is very therapeutic, considering my sister and I spent last Saturday and Sunday in Glorietta during what was a mall-wide sale, contributing to the frazzling of our nerves. :D We just might drag our mom back to Power Plant for another weekend.

08:20 AM I didn't expect my cousins from Bacolod to come to Glorietta yesterday instead of today. Poor David was left out in the cold because he had no one to take him to Glorietta to join us. Anyway, as we went around, I realized there wasn't much to see in that Ayala Mall, unless you were either hungry or you wanted to buy something. And my sister and I couldn't drag them around the clothes stores because they didn't have any money with them (neither did we, for the record, but we just love window-shopping).

In blogging and net news, I was able to talk with Tin a few days ago through AIM, and I got a lot of hits from this girl, who turned out to be the owner of the Blog Girls net ring. :D I just knew I'd be happy with this layout.

I'm going back to school tomorrow! No, not really; I'm just going to enroll. Wah; that's not really great news because it's just so hard to get subjects! *sniffle*

09:00 AM Last night was incredible. After Bible study, a group of us headed to Smiley M.'s place; she had offered a venue for a jam session. At first I thought I wasn't included in the plans, but it soon turned out to be an informal gathering that didn't need invitation. They had a mini pool table we used to while away the time, and I managed to win a game. :D

My voice not being in the best possible shape, I contented myself with harmony while Smiley did the melody. Micah M., Nat R., and Smiley's younger brother JP were bongos, guitar, and bass respectively. It was a blast! Smiley promised that next time I'd have to sing; oh, dear. And I also discovered my whistling isn't as tone-deaf as I thought it was. I managed a good "'Wag Na Lang Kaya" whistle.

News flash! My cousins from Bacolod are in Manila, and I'm taking them to the mall on Sunday. They tend to spend a lot, so I--or maybe my younger sis--probably should show them the glories of bargain shopping. Mwahahahaha!

12:00 AM Well, school's coming in two weeks, so I decided to make a really good layout that I wouldn't get sick of in only 14 days. I'm hoping this layout will last at least until July. As a direct result of my expected school activities, I won't be able to blog as often as I do presently (hmm, I think I'm repeating myself). Anyway, per Flipblogs' rules, I will try to blog at least once a week. I'll blog more often if [guestbook plug starts here] people sign my guestbook! >;D [guestbook plug ends here].

In other news, [site plug starts here] my cousin David has finally made himself a blog, and also updated his Marit Larsen website [site plug ends here]. I like his web design a lot. :D

And speaking of web design, I've applied to join several new web rings and cliques; I just hope I get accepted.

It feels like I have nothing to blog about, but actually I do have something to say, but this isn't the place to say it. It's complicated, because I'm feeling jealous, and then guilty for being jealous. No, I did not find myself a guy to crush on, but a past hidden attraction is rearing its handsome head. Darn it, I thought I was beyond that.