09:29AM Hamster Wheel
For some reason my parents thought it would be a good idea to enroll both my sister and me in a gym program. There was a promo, so both Marielle and I have one-year memberships at 12 sessions a month.

I never really figured I'd go for a gym to complement the rest of my fitness activities. I mean, just consider how people look on the treadmills, bikes, and Stairmasters. Doesn't it remind you of something?

Pet hamsters are usually kept in cages, simple or elaborate, and are provided two things: a water bottle and a little wheel to run on. At the gym, I get free water and can choose between three aerobic workouts: treadmill, bike, or crosstrainer. Sure, there are aerobics and dance classes as well, but the scheduling is awkward. I usually have to settle for the hamster wheels.

They really are hamster wheels disguised for human use. You run or pedal on them, but you never get anywhere. So, how similar is the modern person's life to a hamster's? The office building is the cage, and the person is stuck in a cubicle all day. So that the body doesn't go to fat, the person goes off to the gym early in the morning or late at night and, well, you know the drill. The next day, they get up and do the same thing again. And again. And again. Toward what end?

When you're at the gym, you really do have to have goals for yourself. Otherwise, you'll get bored of doing the same thing. My goal is weight loss, but I also want to be able to do certain things like run 5 kilometers under forty minutes. See, I will get somewhere with my hamster wheel. Ü

04:48PM Unlikeliest of Places
I post regularly on a certain tennis forum because I'm such a tennis nut. I never realized, however, that I'd inadvertently become an ambassador for the Philippines on that forum.

See, I've never been ashamed to put my location as "The Philippines." It's corny, but I wear my nationality on my sleeve, and I've added to certain discussions on said tennis forum by recounting what I know about the Philippine experience regarding tennis. I actually caught a lot of heat some time ago because I said I regularly hired ball boys; apparently, that's a high-income and snobbish thing to do in North America. Ü

So anyway, I invite you to take a look at the following threads in which I've been turned into a resource person for all things PI (that stands for Philippine Islands, though I detest the colonial connotation this term carries).

• Any Filipinos Here?: It originally began as a thread that invited Filipino board members to holler and make themselves known. The discussion turned to why there were no Filipinos in the pro tennis player ranks, and I mentioned that travel visas are hard to come by for Filipino citizens. They asked me to elaborate. We also touched on whether Filipinos are Pacific Islanders (like the Polynesian cultures) or Asians. Right now we're talking about politics in the Philippines, of all things!
• Hey Noelle: A thread asking me what the hotel rates are in the Philippines evolved into something discussing tourist spots in the Philippines. I figured why not promote the Wow Philippines website while I was at it, eh? I've also been asked about the political situation and whether it's safe for foreign tourists to visit these shores.

There was also a thread about the prettiest places the board members have been to, and someone said that they loved going to Chocolate Hills. When someone asked why they were called Chocolate Hills, the person who mentioned them said "I don't know. Ask Noelle."

07:43AM Fashionable Foot Forward
People may not know this, but I'm actually fashion-conscious. Okay, maybe it's a new development stemming from the bright and vibrant fashion life I encountered in my three days in Hong Kong last year.

Prior to that, I was your basic jeans-and-baby-tee girl. That was okay, since that was the trend anyway. And then, I saw the light. Walking around in the tres façonnable Tsim Sha Tsui district, we encountered many women wearing pleated miniskirts, ballet flats and flat-heeled boots, and semi-loose 80's style layered shirts. When we got back to Manila, it took a full six months before anything of the sort showed up in our fashion magazines and clothing store racks. How do I know that? Because I had started looking for those styles.

I'm now caught in the fashion rat race, although the issue of whether I can find cute clothes that fit my non-average body is still something I struggle with. I'm not built like most Filipino girls, who have slender and petite frames. I have more of an athletic build with wide shoulders, except I'm not as fit as an athlete. (Well, not yet, anyway.) So really, the main reason I try to lose weight these days is to be able to fit in fashionable clothes. Jeans and baby tees just don't cut it for me anymore these days, except when I'm feeling slouchy.

Shoes are one area of fashion that I think is forgiving to a woman's body. No matter what your shape and size, shoe shopping will always be there for you when you need some retail therapy because nothing off the rack fits. Flat or stiletto, chunky or sleek, pointed or boxy, strappy or closed--and those are only a few of the many shoe styles out there.

Which brings me to my point. I need new ballet-type flats. They're the type of shoe I use most often, simply because I hate heels for everyday walking. I tend to walk quickly, and heels have that annoying click-click-click sound when I walk quickly in them. Flats are very comfortable; they're so comfortable that I've worn my favorite pairs out and can't wear them anymore.

When you're fashion-conscious, you really do need to put your best foot forward.

08:44AM Patria Adorada
There was once a time I seriously entertained the thought of writing a graphic novel. It was to be set in the Philippines and involved a chosen girl on a quest for scattered jewels from a sacred knife. Once all the jewels were found at sites of historic battles and events, they would be placed into the knife's hilt. Then the chosen girl would have a choice whether or not to plunge the knife into the Philippine soil, unleashing the land's spirit and freeing it from its parasites.

The girl, however, at the last moment would be made aware of a trade-off. If she used the knife, she would obliterate all the inhabitants of the Philippine islands and would render the country a wilderness to be re-settled (presumably with better people and a better system). If she didn't use the knife, the country would go on, status quo, with its good and its bad intact.

I never could decide how this girl would resolve her dilemma, since it was a dilemma I had myself--except without the whole sacred knife and quest thing. Ü I love the Philippines so much, but living here could drive one crazy (if one isn't crazy already). I love my fellow Filipinos, but we all can get on each other's nerves.

Back in 2001, I was at EDSA chanting "Erap Resign!" with all the sincerity my heart could muster. I didn't think about what would happen next after his removal from power. All that mattered out there on the streets was this festival atmosphere and the feeling of unity with what felt like a majority of Filipinos. We wanted him out, right? And that was all that mattered, right?

However, even then I had the niggling thought that I was unwittingly a part of something knowingly orchestrated. I somehow knew that my feelings were being played upon, and my brain had not been called into the equation.

Five years later, I am seeing the same strategies used to get me out of the classroom and out onto the streets. The appeals to anger ("She [Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo] stole the presidency not once but twice!" --Susan Roces), to impatience ("Tama na! Sobra na! Patalsikin si Gloria!" translation: That's it! It's too much! Oust Gloria!), and to guilt and shame ("If you don't support the call for resignation, you're just afraid that Noli de Castro will become president.").

They're actually appeals to emotion, not thought. These days, I think that what this country needs is not a mass of emotional people clamoring for a resignation from someone who they claim has "lost the moral ascendancy to govern." No, what this country needs are people thinking for themselves. Have we lost all trust in our laws and procedures that we can't even wait for someone to bring up an impeachment charge against President Arroyo for her improper conduct after the May 2004 elections? Who has the right to declare her without moral ascendancy if due process is not given the opportunity to do that?

I don't want to be used anymore. This time around, I want the law to be given a chance to work. I think if we can show that the wheels of government and justice turn in this country, it would be a better thing for us both locally and internationally. If we can show that there's no need to throw a monkey wrench into the machinery (i.e. hold "People Powers" every so often when we want to depose someone) just to remove a defective part, it would do so much for our country's stability... and sanity.

No more kneejerk reactions, beloved country. It's time to think before acting.

02:50PM Trip to Quiapo
I would have loved to stay under the covers of my flannel blanket all day and maybe get up in the afternoon to play some tennis. That would have been my idea of a perfect birthday.

Instead, I had to haul my butt out of bed at seven in the AM and head over to Quiapo to claim an NBI clearance. (For the record, I am not a known felon. Ü) Marielle's new job has its perks--namely that I have the house to myself, hahaha--but it also has its requirements. She has to submit certification from the National Bureau of Investigation that she is not a criminal and has no pending cases. Since her job keeps her in the office from 9 to 6, it fell to me to claim this clearance.

I'm used to quiet subdivision neighborhoods and sanitized malling areas. Quiapo is... not any of those things. It's noisy and chaotic, with vendors hawking their wares right in the middle of streets made inaccessible to auto vehicles. The streets are narrow and sooty buildings loom over them, giving one the impression of newer buildings built right on top of older buildings in an attempt to conserve space. Claustrophobia or a similar concept possibly doesn't exist in the vocabulary. You know the saying "On a jeepney, there's always room for one more passenger"? This rule of thumb seems to apply not only to jeepneys, but to the general sensibility of old Manila, whether Quiapo, Intramuros, or Remedios.

Normally I don't get the chance or see the need to go to these places. When I do pass by these areas, I usually see them from behind a pane of glass and the door of a car. Not today. To get to Carriedo Plaza Mall where the NBI clearance center is, you have to get off at least two blocks away and hoof it. There are no available parking spaces for private cars, and if by chance you do find a place to park, I don't think you could stand being away from the car for too long for fear it might not be there when you get back.

For some reason, this part of Manila reminded me of the hidden side of Hong Kong. My family and I were there last year for three days taking in the glitzy neon-lit and freshly-painted sights, and we mistakenly wandered into one of the back alleys that dead-ended in a dumpster. The alley was narrow, damp, and the buildings on each side seemed like solid monoliths of cement with small windows and dingy sidewalks.

That alley and Quiapo are the same thing: they exist side-by-side with these glistening images of modernity that we've built up around ourselves. Sometimes we think reality is the well-manicured grounds of Greenbelt. We forget that there's a whole other reality out there, and it's not entirely separate from our own circles. A trip to Quiapo reminded me of that.