06:28 PM To the person trying to hack my guestbook: don't you have better things to do with your time?

On to more pleasant things. Yesterday, I saw him in my building, and it wasn't even our class time! I ran into him twice; first time while walking on the covered walk where both his and my organizations had booths, and second time when I greeted one of my former blockmates who had shifted to another course. My crush was just behind him and even looked at me! Ü It even turns out that our degree of separation from each other isn't as wide as I thought it would be: two friends of mine know him personally. *faint* I guess this is the last time I should talk about him here because there's a greater risk that people I know might mention this to him, and I have the sinking feeling he already knows who has a crush on him in STS class. Oh, yes, the detective work I did on him earlier was correct about his name and his college.

08:40 PM I bought shoes today. Ü Actually, I bought shoes last Sunday, but they broke down even before Monday morning, so we had them replaced yesterday. This morning, as I walked around the house using the replacement shoes, they broke again! This afternoon we went back to the department store stall in a huff and asked for a refund. They said they weren't going to give us one, but we were free to choose from their catalogue again. I was fed up by this time, so I really wanted a refund--I didn't want to get another pair of their short-lived shoes.

Thankfully, they said we could choose from another stall in the same department store, so I got a different kind and brand--a pair of slip-on rubber shoes. I couldn't be happier. Thank God.

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS, conclusion. I'm addicted to computer games (#6)--FALSE. David's guess was correct. I may be addicted to using the computer, but I've never had a knack for winning at computer games. I don't even know how to play CounterStrike, and we don't own a PlayStation. Ü

06:59 PM F2s was being a pain, so I wasn't able to upload yesterday's entry, which I badly needed to do because I hate sounding too lovey-dovey... Ü

Anyway, I'm working on a new layout for Rear Window, which I don't think anybody goes to anyway... *sniffle* But I'll still make the layout because I already have the image ready. All I need to do is slice it up and create buttons.

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS, continued. I am a closet *NSYNC fan (#5)--TRUE. I do (or did) like some boy bands such as 98 Degrees (and even--ack!--Code Red and the Backstreet Boys), and I started liking *NSYNC after their "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You" single. I haven't gone to the lengths of buying an album, though. Ü My self-image won't stand for that. Hehe.

10:36 PM Much thanks to those who felt the same way about my experience last Wednesday with Mr. Crush. Unfortunately, I have a little bit of bad news... I haven't seen him for days! He missed our classes both on Thursday and today; I actually experienced a sort of withdrawal from him, because I can't remember his face clearly anymore. What's worse is that today I saw him at the door of our auditorium; he just peered in through the transparent window space at the door, and then he left! Did I scare him away or something? Ü

Seriously, though, it's not that big a deal. He's not a relationship prospect: I just wanted some eye-candy. Besides, the fact that he doesn't go to class regularly is a turn-off; I'd love my guy to be smart and diligent. *sigh* So once again I've sworn off crushes, since I've observed myself these past few weeks and I'm actually incapacitated by having a crush. Hehe. So there. He still is cute, though.

By the way, Rebel Heart has a new layout. What can I say? It's a spectacular spectacular! Ü

07:49 PM Something happened to me yesterday as I was taking my STS exam (Science, Technology, and Society). I had arrived there with two of my friends, Henessey and Tara. Henessey took the seat second from the aisle, Tara the fourth seat, and they made me sit between them in the third seat. As I was answering the exam, I felt Henessey give me a nudge. I was a bit annoyed because I was concentrating, so I looked at Henessey--and there he was, in the aisle seat! Him, my crush, the one who looks like Mark-Paul Gosselaar. I was so distracted that I committed some stupid mistakes on my exam (because I was so conscious of what I was doing!). I finished the exam in thirty minutes but I stayed five minutes longer just to be near him. Sheesh!

My friends tell me my crush has already noticed me; in fact, he wasn't assigned to take the exam in our room, but he did anyway--and of all the many empty seats in the auditorium, he chose to sit right there! Even more confusing for me is that when I finally passed my exam paper to the proctor and left the room, he followed immediately... and a female friend of mine tells me that when I was talking to one of my male groupmates for our report the next day, my crush was looking at me! He stuck around until my groupmates and I finished our meeting, and then we left at the same time (presumably because he was waiting for me). Ü And just today I learned that my group was supposed to react to his group's report last Monday, and it didn't happen because the LCD projector conked out. All the same, during that meeting my friends tell me he was looking for me. *faints*

By the way, Melworx is no more; welcome the Bluebrat! And David has gone Flash!

05:56 PM I finished reading a book yesterday--Night, written by Elie Wiesel, a Holocaust survivor. It was kind of disturbing, because the other book I'd read about the Holocaust--The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom--was written by a Christian non-Jew who helped smuggle Jews out of Holland, and was thrown into a concentration camp because of it. The difference between the two books is that in Night, Elie Wiesel, a Jew, lost his faith in his God, while in The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom's faith in God even grew stronger. It leads me to wondering: what comfort can I offer someone who has suffered so much at human hands, and who blames God for what happened? I'm stumped; all I've ever felt is love and a stern Father-like guidance from Him. What would happen to my faith if I suddenly lost everything I had, and even suffer? Would I respond the way Elie did, or the way Corrie did?

I guess that Elie felt very alone; the God he knew was a distant God, appeased--and yet not appeased--by sacrifices and meditation on the Jewish Cabbala. The God Corrie knew was a loving God who gave her inner joy, comfort, and peace, and helped her get through her suffering.

06:38 PM Since it looks like some people are really curious about my featured boy on the layout, I shall expound on him. The name of the guy who owns the delectable lips and eye on my layout is none other than Eddie Mills. He's an American actor who's starred in several TV movies and TV series pilots (this picture is from the promotional shoot for Push). I don't know why his career hasn't taken off yet 'cause he's not as big as other hotties out there (he did, however, star in Wasteland), but I can wait a few years. *dreamy sigh* You can look at the Internet Movie Database for more stuff about him, I think.

LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS, continued. I'm adored by bugs (#1)--TRUE. I don't know what's in me that attracts them so much, but scarcely a day goes by without me getting chased by a wasp or a bumblebee.

06:29 PM SIX LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS AND ONE BIG LIE ABOUT ME


You figure out which one's the lie. Ü

07:38 PM I was talking to some of my friends today, reminiscing about our experiences in our respective high schools. Pardon me for being too sheltered, or maybe for being too insensitive, but I never fully realized that there were people who couldn't go to school regularly. One of my guy friends related the story of how a classmate of his couldn't come to school unless his father had caught fish to sell in the market. That kind of story just really hit me hard. Here I am, with good food, good clothes, going to a good school--and then I think of the people out there who live hand-to-mouth without the money to spend for fare going to a school that's too far away to walk to. It just makes me sad. No, it makes me upset that people have to live like that.

A friend of mine got an article published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer Youngblood section last Saturday (if you're interested, her article was the one on top of the page). In it, she talks about how most people like us (the middle to upper classes) treat going to a marketplace like Quiapo as an adventure, when to most other regular people it's a fact of life that they go there, braving the people, pickpockets, and squalor in order to get more for the little that they earn. It's a disturbing read, but an insightful one which makes you realize why you turn away when you see a beggar on the street. You try to preserve your comfortable illusions about life here in the metropolis--but poverty is present whether or not you pay attention. It makes you think: what can I do to help? What's depressing is I don't know what to do to help.

10:22 PM Ah! Finally, I have completed my greatest creation! *blink* Oops, a bit too Dexter-ish there... Ü I mean, I've finally uploaded my new layout completely! Yes, that's it.

I took that Econ exam today. Grr! It turns out all the questions came from our notes and the handouts from the reports! Reading the 20 chapters of that Econ book was useless! I even hunted all over Quezon City for that book and it served nothing! What really makes me feel bad is that my other classmates and friends, who didn't have time to read the 20 chapters, focused on their notes and handouts instead--and will probably get a better grade for it. Aw, shoot.

My org was recently branded a "coÑo" org by a rival org. Being called "coño" implies that we are rich, snobbish people who speak affected English and display cellphones and branded items all over the place. That is certainly not the case. Only a few people are very rich in the org; the rest of us are middle class, with working parents who scrimp and save for everything we need. In our case, however, we don't have to be affluent to look well-dressed. As an orgmate of mine says, "Ayaw namin magmukhang dugyot!" Secondly, we don't speak affected English. We may answer in English in class recitations, but that's because we're more comfortable using English as the language of the academe. Besides, as Professor Carolina Hernandez put it (forgive me if I can't remember the exact quote, Ma'am), "I do not approve of this policy of idiocy [of conducting everything in Filipino because it is nationalistic to do so]... Nationalism is not measured by what language you use." Thirdly, while some of us have cellphones, they're used to stay in contact, not waved around as status symbols--and besides, cellphones are really easy to come by in the Philippines (if you have the will to save up for one plus a prepaid sim card). Finally, we are not snobbish! I have had the misfortune of giving out the first impression of being aloof, but I personally don't reject people; I'm just shy and not comfortable with approaching people offhandedly--I don't want to be accused of being too familiar!

*sigh* Anyway, what's happened on the web lately? Stephie shut down Half-Empty last month; my cousin David changed his site's name to gLi+ch; Redgie got herself a domain; Cyberbutiki shut down Asylum but continues to blog in his LiveJournal; and I was supposed to link some people but I forgot their URLs, so please remind me if I promised to link you!

I gotta go. I just finished a workout and I haven't taken a bath yet. Ick. Ü

06:30 PM I'm back--well, at least for now. My Zip Drive (technically it's the property of my dad's office) was taken away, so I had to transfer all my files to my hard drive. I didn't know how much space my websites actually took up until I attempted this. Ü

But anyway, exams have really started to hit hard. Tomorrow I have an exam in Econ spanning 20 (count 'em, 20) chapters of the main text. What's even worse is that my professor there didn't provide us any application for the theoretical knowledge in the book, assuming that we'd play around with the variables and figure it out for ourselves on paper. I'm sorry, Miss Ziggy Penguin, but that's just not how one teaches students. You're supposed to guide us; our three-hour classes on Saturdays have gone to waste since we don't even understand what you talk about. We just sit there like zombies, copying notes off your transparencies and struggling to remember what it all means. When we ask for graphical examples, you don't even try--you simply move on to the next topic, leaving us alone barely treading the treacherous waters of Frederic Mishkin's "The Economics of Money, Banking, and Financial Markets." I wish I'd enrolled in the other section; maybe there my Saturdays would have been better spent.