10:31 AM My two girl cousins came in from Bacolod City last Thursday, so yesterday my sister and I went out with them after attending Sunday services at Glorietta 4 Cinema 6. Naturally, we did what most girls do: shop! The funny thing was, by day's end, they'd each bought something, and my sister had a new pair of jeans. I was the odd girl out with no purchase to my name. Serves me right for being too picky, but I couldn't find the bag or shoes I wanted.

After we ate dinner at our house, though, we were invited by two guy friends of mine to go to the bazaar our subdivision was holding. The strange thing is that I was the only one who was able to buy something there. Ü Then off we all went to Frio Mixx before dropping off my cousins at where they were staying. Tonight they're sleeping over at our house, so I'm busy thinking up ways to keep them entertained. I mean, they're only going to be here until early next week, and then it could be months again before I'll see them.

Incidentally, it's the end of October already, but my mind's still a blank slate when it comes to thinking of a new layout. I'm good at making last-minute stuff, I guess. All of my layouts weren't "carefully crafted", unlike some of those I've seen out there. Or should I keep this for another two weeks, just to round off the four weeks this layout should be up? Ü Ah, who cares?

07:52 AM What am I going to do for the rest of sembreak? I've already done major updates on my websites, and if I sit around any longer on this computer chair I'm going to gain weight instead of losing it. *sigh* I'm just so bored...

I can't bring myself to watch Teaching Mrs. Tingle, which is showing on WOWOW right now. I've got paranoia about my grades; I mean, what if I get a teacher next sem who's just like the character Helen Mirren plays? That's likely because there's this one teacher, Ma'am C__, under whom I'm taking two subjects. She has a reputation for being tough on her students; I have a feeling I might have a few white hairs when next sem is over. It makes me shudder just to think about taking Ma'am C__'s classes, since I'm running for honors. I have no choice; our department has a shortage of teachers and subjects offered. All I can do is pray right now.

I'm being really negative today, huh? Ü

04:13 PM Yet another website by yours truly. My, I'm being very productive this sembreak, aren't I? The official and formal launch of that site is supposedly on October 30, but I want to have members already, so if you're a high school or college/university student and you own a personal website, you're very welcome to apply to my new clique. It's called Higher Learning. It's not an elite clique, so you don't have to have an amazing site to join. Ü I mean, it would be a bit presumptuous for me to set up an elite clique if my own website design skills aren't that up to par.

09:57 AM Just a short note to invite all of you to visit Rebel Heart, my site collective. Ü It has a new layout, so please go check it out! And sign the guestbook while you're at it. Ü

10:55 AM I'm human. Ü But I kept getting Betazoid on my first two tries. What's a Betazoid? I mean, I did watch Star Trek (original and TNG), but I'm really not familiar with the terminology and stuff. By the way I got the link from Andrael.

Sorry for disappearing again. This time it wasn't really my fault; I just ran out of prepaid time. Yes, yours truly does run five websites on prepaid internet time instead of getting a permanent dial-up from any local ISP. Hey, it's cheaper this way. If I run out of my allotted time before my parents buy me more prepaid time, I just have to make do.

Speaking of my websites, I came out with a new layout for Rear Window, which is my layout archive. Does anyone visit that place? Please do! And tell me what you think about it too, okay? Sign my guestbook. Ü By the way, as I promised, I shall plug the websites of guestbook signers, starting with these special people Ü: Reggie, Stephie, Mixz, Jen, Mikko, and Macy.

Now, I'm off to search the net for pictures and ideas on a new layout for Rebel Heart. *sigh* Oh yeah! To all the people out there, go get the October issue of Chalk magazine! They did a special on both George Rocha and Patty Laurel and the rookie reporter from UST. Rah-rah!

10:24 AM I've just uploaded a new layout for my guestbook. Ü It features Natalie Portman and some really great dingbats I never knew I could use as borders. Ü Tell me what you think, okay? I promise to plug the sites of the people who sign my guestbook... *hint*

Trivia question: what connects Noelle to the UAAP? Answer: she was classmates with the courtside reporters for Ateneo and La Salle.

I'm not kidding. Back in second grade, I attended International Christian Academy. In my section, II-S, there was this girl named Patricia Laurel, who was very nice. We were both very good students, competing for first honor in class. The next year, I entered a different school, a much smaller school with a population of about 110 students from grade school to high school. It was called Christian Harvest Academy, where I met this girl named Georgina Rocha. We were classmates all the way up to fourth year high school. We were batchmates--the only two girls in a class of six graduates.

Patty went on to enroll in De La Salle Zobel for high school, and after that she entered Ateneo De Manila University. The rest is history. Too bad I lost touch with her after I moved to C.H.A.

George and I and the rest of my high school barkada (peer group) lately have been seeing each other regularly because of Bible study. It's great, really, because she was the one who kept sponsoring annual Christmas parties and her birthday get-togethers in the three years we've been out of high school, so that we all could keep in touch. Ü That's why I can't help feeling like such a traitor since I sided with Ateneo (a precedent set by my mom) during the final game last Tuesday.

07:32 PM Just to clear things, this is not the real picture of my crush. My crush just looks like Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Although I found my crush's picture on the Web already (gosh, there are really a lot of resources for would-be stalkers), I'm just not about to post it here. I might get found out. Ü Hehe.

Now I'd like to plug the sites of the people who've signed my guestbook! Thanks to Selene, Mix, Vanessa, Mika, Stephie, Clarissa, Cyberlizard, and someone named Supaknakka (I'm not very sure what site of mine he/she's praising, though).

Lastly, I'd like to rave about the fact that my sembreak starts today! Woohoo! My last exam for the semester was at 1 PM this afternoon, and I think I did pretty well, considering that it was an Econ exam. Ü

It was such an amazing semester, come to think of it. I found a new crush, lost weight, got to know some people I otherwise wouldn't be able to hang out with, and best of all, I learned how to live. I mean, before this year, I was an anime otaku for a little less than two years, and I really didn't socialize with anyone who didn't share my obsession. After I got some sense knocked into me over last summer, though, I began to see things I'd ignored. For instance, I never realized how fun it is to hang out with my orgmates, or how exciting shopping is with my sister and mother, aside from many other things. Not that I'm knocking how other people spend their time, but I regret every moment that I ignored the things that were around me because I was in search of the next anime "high," whether it was fan fiction, bishounen (pretty anime boys), or cosplay.

I feel that I've finally found my real personality. It wasn't the foxy "Doctor Megumi" that I impersonated with my "ohohohoho" laugh, nor was it the screaming fan girl stereotype that I tried to emulate. I'm just... me.

Now, if I could just find out what I'm supposed to be doing in life, then I'll be all set. Ü

08:53 AM I got the link to this from Andrael, but it looks like a lot of people have already taken the test. Ü My results are here.

What to talk about... I've lost weight! Ü Yes! From a waist measurement of 31 inches, I'm now down to my average of 27 inches as a result of losing about ten or more pounds. My weighing scale here at home is kinda screwy so I've had to rely on the tape measure more often. The most important implication of this is that I can fit into my clothes now! I've actually been on a shopping spree for three weeks running; the other Sunday I bought a new pair of shoes and a denim skirt at Designer Depot. I've turned into some sort of bargain hound, not quite unlike my mother. Now I know I'm really her daughter. Ü I can remember back in June or July I swore off shopping because I'd always get depressed since the clothes wouldn't fit. Ah yes, what a low-carbo diet and The Grind hiphop workout can do for people like me...

I know they've been on the racks a long time, but I really, really want these shoes. They're just so expensive, and I can't get my parents to buy them for me!

I've also been surfing my referrers lately. Ü Thanks to Bestman for linking to me. I've also gotten a lot of hits from searches done on Google.com. I don't know whether or not the people who clicked through on those links actually meant to get to my site, though.

07:44 PM I just discovered that a friend of mine has gotten himself a Pita. Go Charles! Just in case you're wondering why his URL's like that, his name is Charles A. Tan, not CharleSatan. Ü

Thank you to the three people who signed my guestbook in the past day that I've had my layout up: Macy, Benj, and someone named Roch, whose name I've never seen in my guestbook before--but the more the merrier! Thanks for the comments, you guys!

I just viewed this layout through Netscape, and it just really pisses me off that IE and Navigator don't show webpages the same way! I tweaked the HTML a bit, and it now displays the same in both browsers, with the exception of the colored scrollbar in IE. I guess you can't win them all.

Still speaking about website matters: I'm thinking about getting another F2s.com account and then closing this location down. I'm kind of sick and tired of www.docmegumi.f2s.com. I want a new subdomain! The problem is I can't think of a good subdomain name. I'm considering a lot of ridiculous names, such as "glitter," "diva," "zoom," and "presto," among other things, but I'll probably just get "rebelheart" so I don't have to change my site collective's name. Ü If I had a domain name, though, what would it be? That is, if I ever get the money to buy one. Hey, David, think you can get your mom to buy me a domain name for Christmas? Ü

AXN showed yet another run of Survivor 3's first episode. I thought I wasn't going to enjoy it, but I found myself really into it while watching the immunity challenge. My arm muscles were really tensing up for no reason at all! Speaking of AXN, does anyone here remember when they were promoting the premiere of the Asian Charlie's Angels TV series? Whatever happened to it? If you've seen it, is it any good? It strongly smacks of bandwagon hopping; since the Charlie's Angels movie stirred renewed interest in the old Charlie's Angels, AXN started showing that--and then came the Asian version, which I had the misfortune (or is it fortune?) of not seeing.

Oh yeah... a belated Happy Birthday to Paulo! Is Portland still giving him problems? Looks like his blog is back to normal. I thought that Blogspot page was such a faint shadow of the real thing. Ü By the way, The Lizard's Asylum has reopened at a new location with an Alice in Wonderland layout. Does that have anything to do with the American McGee's Alice fansite he was talking about on his LiveJournal a while back?

10:06 PM Tomorrow, we're inducting our applicants into our org. FYI, my organization is UP People-Oriented Leadership In The Interest of Community Awareness, or UP POLITICA for short. Don't worry, we don't haze our applicants during the induction day--but we do put them through several trials before we can pronounce them as having the commitment to be members. Ü I'm also trying to design our official website, but it looks like I'm going to have some trouble with finding free ad-free hosting. F2s.com's run out of free servers right now, so I'll have to wait to get one. Port5.com hasn't sent the confirmation email yet for the webspace, and I'm a bit worried about the 100MB bandwidth allotment per month. You see, I'm expecting plenty of visitors to the org's website. Hehe.

My dad has just said that my layout is too sexy for his tastes. What the hell? Can someone tell me what Jessica Alba looks like in the picture: is she thinking of her love, or is she trying to seduce someone? Hmph.

I find it a bit hard to begin writing that semi-autobiographical story I was planning last month because of the real ending to my semester. I'm not sure if I should include an ending at all to the story. Another thing: if I do write the story and post it online, could there be the possibility that my crush might find it someday and my attraction for him become all the more obvious? The last thing I want to do is make known to him my feelings. I don't know; I think I'm a firm believer in the guy making the first move. Besides, a lot of the events that I could write into the story would be embarrassing. I'm running into a brick wall made of my sense of shame.

Time and again, though, I find myself telling my friends whatever misadventure I had concerning my crush, even though I fully intended to keep all facts about my attraction to the guy secret from everyone. Come to think of it, this is the first time that I'd ever been open with anyone about my crush--excluding my confiding to my sister. Now it seems like all my friends know, and even those I didn't tell about him actually know. I wonder how far this knowledge has gone along the gossip vine. Who knows; he might already know about me, albeit somewhat distorted (like someone could have told him I was stalking him, which is not the case).

So, should I, or should I not write my story? Tell me; write in my guestbook, email me, try to catch me on AIM. I just need to know whether I should attempt this, and whether or not I should publish it on a website.

02:13 PM Sorry for disappearing for so long. I had to study for exams, and I also had papers to write. At least I'm making up for it by redesigning, right? And speaking of redesigning, I think my guestbook needs a facelift too. Ü I'll fix that later. For now, I have to study for my last exam for the semester--Economics 190.2.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote here--but not as much as people would expect. Contrary to most expectations my friends (and maybe even I) had, my crush did not approach me on the last day of class to ask for my name, or to talk to me, at least. No, it didn't happen that way, although my cousin was able to introduce me to him briefly. I did have a close call with him again this past week, but life simply isn't like any movie where the girl gets her guy in the end. Life for me will extend way beyond this semester's end, and whether or not I see him again really depends on God's will. I guess I hoped too much. I don't even know him, yet I was praying so hard that he'd be the one--you know, the one I'd end up with.

I guess the most important lesson I learned this semester is to take it one day at a time. I'd drift off into thinking about some future I'd have with him that I almost failed to appreciate the moments God gave me to see him.

This semester's been one of the best I've ever had in UP, and I guess I should just be content with what God gave me--the chance to have seen him, to have been classmates with him, to feel this way. He's just a crush, and I'm sure there will be many more after him. After all, I'm young, I'm beautiful *cough*...